Leadership and the Four Agreements
During a recent discussion with a colleague, I became intrigued to revisit a popular team dynamics model, Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions of a Team. This powerfully simplistic model describes the troubling behaviors exhibited by dysfunctional teams. The Five Dysfunctions model is so popular that there is no shortage of leadership development firms specializing in how to overcome team dysfunction using this model (myself included).
Later that day, when reading through my work notes, I stumbled across a few points I had collected while reading The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. So in one day, I’m noodling Five Dysfunctions and Four Agreements; just enough numbers to light up my insights. My ah-ha led me to this post.
What if the Four Agreements were taught to leaders to prevent or disrupt dysfunction? I’m not claiming that this is a novel idea, but it certainly is for me. Read on if you’d like to explore how the agreements can strengthen leadership and influence healthy team behaviors through the practice of leadership coaching.
Agreement 1: Be Impeccable with Your Word
Zero trust might be great for security, but it’s not ideal in leadership. Being impeccable with your word means speaking with integrity, saying only what you mean, and avoiding negative self-talk or gossip. It emphasizes the power of words to create and transform.
Is there anything more aligned to leadership than this sentiment? In leadership coaching, we often help leaders:
Develop self-awareness about their communication patterns.
Practice mindful and positive self-talk.
Learn to articulate their vision and feedback effectively.
By embodying this agreement, leaders can inspire and motivate their teams, creating a culture of transparency and respect.
Agreement 2: Don’t Take Anything Personally
This agreement teaches that nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. By not taking things personally, you can avoid needless suffering and maintain emotional balance.
If you’re a leader, you’ve undoubtedly been tempted to take a colleagues actions personally. I mean, we’re human, right? In leadership coaching we help leaders:
Develop emotional intelligence and resilience.
Understand that feedback, whether positive or negative, is about the giver’s perspective, not their own worth.
Maintain focus and composure, even in challenging situations.
By not taking things personally, leaders can navigate conflicts and criticisms with grace, maintaining their confidence and clarity.
Agreement 3: Don’t Make Assumptions
Making assumptions often leads to misunderstandings and conflicts. This agreement encourages asking questions and expressing needs clearly instead of assuming others know what you think or want.
Do you notice how agreements two and three are so closely connected? How many times has taking something personally led to a snowball of assumptions? Through leadership coaching, leaders:
Cultivate a habit of seeking clarity through open-ended questions.
Foster a culture where team members feel safe to express their thoughts and ask questions.
Recognize and challenge their own biases and assumptions.
By avoiding assumptions, leaders can make more informed decisions and build stronger, more collaborative teams.
Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best
In leadership, there is an important distinction between trying and doing. As leaders we declare our efforts, often in highly visible ways. This agreement recognizes that our best will vary from moment to moment but encourages consistent effort and personal excellence. It’s about striving for growth and improvement without self-judgment.
This agreement is the icing on the leadership cake. At the end of the day, we can only do our best. Through coaching, leaders engage in:
Setting realistic and achievable goals.
Practicing self-compassion and recognizing their efforts.
Encouraging a growth mindset, focusing on learning and development rather than perfection.
By always doing their best, leaders can foster a culture of continuous improvement and resilience, inspiring their teams to do the same.
I’m not sure about you, but I’m sold on integrating this popular framework into my own leadership development. As a leadership coach, I’m always learning about techniques to engage my clients during their growth journey. Send me a message if you’d like to learn more about how leadership coaching can support your growth aspirations.
