Growing Pains?

I’m sitting in the doctor’s office. Thankfully, it’s not for me 🙏🏽.

Thankfully, it’s not for my husband. Or my child.

I’m with my mom. Thankfully, she’s fine.

Fine? Maybe stable is the better word?

As I ease into my third year as a caretaker, I’m struck by the waves of emotions that come as I unlock new levels of care. My ferociously task-focused side generally takes the transactional view.

✔ Doctor visit 

✔ Prescription 

✔ Pill organizer 

✔ Refill

✔ Repeat

The comfort of transactions keeps me moving forward. 

Today, there was a crack in the Matrix of routine.

This crack revealed a deep acknowledgment of my current reality and along with it, all the feels. 

😞 Sorrowful 

😨 Nervous

🤷🏽‍♀️ Humbled

🙏🏽 Thankful

🕊 Peaceful

What does this have to do with growth? For me, it means everything. To truly let myself feel deeply into my current experience is a gift. I cherish it. I hold it in reverence. Because for so long, I struggled to connect emotions with my reality. And now I’m free.

This freedom came at a cost. I had to let go, to lose, to grieve, to learn, over and over again. Some losses were bigger than others. The path to freedom was paved by my tears, my grit, and my ferocity to evolve to be the best human that I can possibly be.

My point is, that growth can be painful. One thing I know for sure is that if the learning is easy, then there is probably not a lot of change involved. It’s the challenge that leads to transformation ✨

If you’ve reached this point then you’ve made it to the end. Thank you for reading this post. If you like this post, please let me know by subscribing. I also welcome your comments. Let me know in the chat, what does growth look like to you?